Wednesday, February 29, 2012

New outlook on my service

Post my appendectomy, I got a very serious eye infection.  After about 5 trips to the hospital and several ophthalmologists, I finally am on the right course of medication.  Having an eye infection right after my surgery left me with such little hope and I plummeted pretty far down into depression.  It was certainly situational depression, but it seemed like every day, I received more bad news.

As it turns out, I have come to realize so many things and I think the remainder of my time in Peace Corps is going to be so much better.  First of all, the only time I ever wished to be back in America was when I started thinking I needed better medical care for my eye.  I never wanted to give up on my village.  I never wanted to give up on Tanzania.  On some of my lowest of my low moments, I really wished I could see my mom and family to cheer me up.  But, I never had thoughts of leaving Tanzania.  In fact, I really long for my village.  I am so eager to get back to my school and continue work.  It's such a great feeling to be so sick and want to go back to your job because you miss it.  Because the truth is, there were so many times I'd be at school or in my village and think to myself or say outloud to Jon, "what the heck are we doing here?"  I am sure I will still have moments like these in future because Peace Corps isn't all about being the only white person in all of your pictures or happy villagers in African clothing, there are of course plenty of challenges.   But, I have the assurance now that this IS what I want to be doing.  When the possibility of being medically separated (meaning Peace Corps sends me home permanently because of poor health) goes through my mind, I get so upset and really want to get back to my village and do my work.

Secondly, I realize I should not be complaining about not having running water, because you know what?  I was at least able to fetch water from the well.  Now, post-surgery, I am not allowed to carry buckets of water.  At least I had my health to get water.

Thirdly, who cares about not having electricity?  At least I could open my eyes and see the world around me during the days.  Something I haven't been able to do in like 2-3 weeks.  At least my eyes were healthy to see during the days.

I have been living the luxury of air conditioning, amazing food prepared by a maid, being picked up after by a maid, electricity, running water, internet 24/7, TV, anything you could ask for in America, yet I just long to be back in my crappy house in my little village teaching my literally poor students.

I have come to realize I have taken so much for granted.  There will be much fewer posts about me griping about my living conditions in the future.  I will be lucky when I have my health.  I am thankful for all the support I've received from everyone at home and  your constants prayers.  I am thankful from the outpouring of support of my fellow volunteers here calling to check in on me, even skyping me!

1 comment:

  1. I am happy you are finally on a path to get healthy again!! I'm going to miss our morning chats online, but still glad you can go home soon to Lia and your Tanzanian home! <3